At least they are not calling them Porch Monkeys

This is actually a few days old, but since today was a slow day I decided to post it. The people at PETA are going bonkers against Nickelodeon, their site states:

"Tell Nickelodeon to stop Chimpanzee abuse

We recently learned that Nickelodeon's new holiday film, Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh, features a live chimpanzee. With so many realistic alternatives available—such as CGI, animatronics, costumes, and blue screen—there is no excuse for Nickelodeon to use live great apes in its programs.

Not only was the chimpanzee in the film portrayed in a demeaning way and even referred to as a monkey, the use of great apes in the entertainment industry is also inherently cruel. Training great apes to perform almost always includes physical abuse to ensure that the animals know "who's boss" and do as the trainer demands. In fact, the wide-toothed chimpanzee "grin" so often seen in movies and on TV is actually a grimace of fear or a carefully choreographed response to a command. By the time great apes are 8 years old—around the beginning of young adulthood—they are too strong to be safely handled and are frequently discarded in hideous roadside zoos or are warehoused in dismal, appalling conditions. PETA investigations have revealed that former "celebrity" apes were living in small cages littered with garbage and feces and denied basic necessities (like wholesome food and adequate veterinary care).

Please join us in urging Nickelodeon to follow the lead of other progressive companies—including SEGA, Honda, PUMA, Yahoo!, Keds, and others—that have already pledged never to use great apes in the future."

As always, the fucking nut jobs from PETA need to start throwing out facts they can't prove. The best part of their statement is how demeaning it is for a chimpanzee to be called a monkey. If PETA wants things done, they should hire Thade, he'll teach Nickelodeon that chimpanzees are actually apes.

In related news, I was watching porn last night and I said "I think it's time to spank the monkey". Now my penis is starting legal actions against me.